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The Princess Bride
Started off as story book lore
With nights, fights, and adventure galore.
A grandfather came to visit his sick son
And reading him the book is where the story had begun.
A farm hand fell in love with the farmer’s daughter
And no matter what she asked, he would do it for her.
He would bow his head in an elegant swish
And all he would say is, “As you wish.”
One day, Westley went and fought at sea
Along with the kings army.
His ship was sunk by Pirate Roberts and his crew
And where he was, his love never knew.
Further into the story, Buttercup was said to marry Prince Humperdinck
And this arrangement really did stink.
So Buttercup was kidnapped, I’m sorry to say
She climbed into her coach and was taken away.
Now her kidnappers, I must describe to you
Only Vizzini was a kidnapper true
Fezzik was a big, sweet poet at heart
And Inigo Montoya has been searching for the sixed fingered man from the start.
They take her away, up a cliff they go
And when they reach the top, they see a little man on the rocks bellow.
They tried to kill him but they found no way
So Vizzini and Fezzik left with Buttercup and told Inigo to stay.
When he reached the top, Pirate Roberts stood there
Inigo didn’t know him, and he really didn’t care.
They pulled out their swords, “To the death,” they both did declare
But Roberts didn’t kill him, he just left him there.
Through obstacle one, on to obstacle two
There stood Fezzik not as tall as one man, but two!
Roberts used his smarts to beat Fezziks brawn
And when he was sure he was out, he did move on.
Vizzini was the last on the list
And when he caught up, he had her by the wrists
They played a game of wits and Roberts won which Vizzini thought unbelievable
And his lasts words were, “This is unconceivable!”
So Robertson took Buttercup and left
Telling her his tale of pirating and theft.
When she asked about Westley he said he slept with the fish
She wished him dead as she pushed him down a hill, and he said, “As you wish.”
Realizing it was Westley, she rolled down to meet him
She hugged and kissed and said she’d never leave him.
They said they loved each other and continued their chats
As they entered the Forest of Really Big Rats.
Prince Humperdinck found them and took her away
And Westley was put torture the very next day.
The six fingered man was the kings advisor and most trusted
It would be very hard for him to get busted.
Nearly dead, Inigo and Fezzik saved and took care of him
But he wasn’t waking up, and that was very grim.
So they took him to Magic Max’s to be healed
So he could save Buttercup with the sword he did wield.
He took a chocolate pill and started to improve
But the only problem was, he couldn’t move.
So Fezziks made a distraction to stop the wedding
And Inigo and Westley tried to save Buttercup without a beheading.
When Inigo saw the six fingered man, they started to fight
They both knew only one of them would survive the night.
When they started to fight, Inigo got him with his sword and he did cry
Inigo aimed his sword at him and said, “You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
While this did happen Wesley messed with the Prince
And I don’t think he slept right ever since.
He threatened to cut him apart if he didn’t let her go
He was bluffing ‘cause he still couldn’t move, but Humperdinck didn’t know.
When everything was done at the window stood Fezzik with horses
The horses of the king’s night forces.
There was no way down so Fezziks told them to jump
And, surprisingly, none of them landed on their rump.
They rode off in the end
With Buttercup as his princess and Fezzik and Inigo as his friend.
When grandpa finished, the boy felt fine
I guess he just needed a little of once upon a time.