A Race Through Space

March 22, 2012
young boy looks up in the sky
young boy heaves a sigh
no stars tonight
the city blocks the light
of parents above
the celestial doves

the beauty of the skies cannot bleed
its white beads
into the sky
and up high
galaxies the size of crumbs dance
and prance
across the infinite black sea
little stars tinier than a pea
it's space
a wonderful place

mercury, venus, earth and mars
jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune and stars
the teaching stops there
that's an ugly affair
there's more to see
which causes glee

a black hole ravenously feasts on a star
a supergiant explodes as if bizarre
bubbles of gamma-rays gigantic and cute
rainbow-colored magnificient nebulae growing fruit
to become the stars
to create planets like ours

imagine a world with pink oceans and red lands
how about another home to only green sands
or maybe a frigid small world full of ice
perhaps there's a hot gas giant that isn't nice
as it closely orbits its parent
the errant
occurs as the child evaporates under the power
of the mother glower

space is a wonder
its not a blunder
its meant to be
the wonders to see
and while you may not see the sky
up high
remember the final frontier
and give a celestial cheer

Join the Discussion

This article has 37 comments. Post your own now!

Behind_a_Plastic_Smile said...
May 25, 2012 at 11:06 pm
wow this is magical! the imagey and rhym scheme go hand in hand like a magestic dance.   
bearsfan654 replied...
May 26, 2012 at 6:49 am
Thanks Behind_a_Plastic_Smile!
Inksy replied...
May 26, 2012 at 4:49 pm
This is breautiful! It's really creative and I love the rhyme scheme you used. Your imagery is amazing, you really perfected the "show-not-tell" concept. Well done (:
bearsfan654 replied...
May 26, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Thanks Inksy!
wordjunkie said...
May 25, 2012 at 10:25 pm
I love the rhym scheme, in an english curriculumn so confined to rigidity, I love it when people are more creative with their line breaks.  And I love how it's not really reverent, more of gleeful. It's less somberly respectful than most prose on space, and that's really refreshing. Go to the desert with a telescope sometime, by the way. I recomend moab utah. It's breathlessly beautiful.
bearsfan654 replied...
May 25, 2012 at 10:27 pm
Thanks wordjunkie! Out where I live there aren't any stars, but I've been in the desert in India before. The sight of all the stars was amazing!
eternal_sunshine said...
Apr. 20, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Wow, this is beautiful! So complex! I love how you start off specific and simple, with just the one boy. Then you move out further and further, it really gave me the sense of the massiveness of everything. Really great job! :)
bearsfan654 replied...
Apr. 24, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Thanks eternal_sunshine!
bearsfan654 said...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Thanks DanielM!
DanielM. said...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:00 pm
Good Job. Nice use of Imagery.
DanielM. said...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 8:59 pm
Great Job. I liked how you used imagery to give us readers a picture in our head. Great Job!
bearsfan654 replied...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:04 pm
Thanks DanielM!
SpringRayyn said...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 6:52 pm
I love this one! I love how you used the young boy at the beginning and the universe totally contrasting him by being so large! It could be made better by relating back to the young boy in the end. Very good description though!
bearsfan654 replied...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:04 pm
You have a great point SpringRayyn! If I ever make a sequel I'll add your suggestion into the poem
maizyiscrazy said...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 4:53 pm
This is so great! I can tell that you love space, and you can totally see it in this poem!
bearsfan654 replied...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Thanks so much maizyiscrazy!
torilutz8 said...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Nice imagery, idea, and wording. However, it doesn't really flow. That's the only thing I'd work on :)
bearsfan654 replied...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Okay, thanks for the feedback!
teamo14 said...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:20 am
great writing, I like your idea. :)
bearsfan654 replied...
Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:21 am
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