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I fell in love with the idea that there’s something out there
Something I can wrap my hands around
And create a tangible existence for myself
For all to see, a legacy
Born within the deep confines of space
I was sewn together with the knowledge of nothing
As soon as I was born I was to grab
All that I can and learn from it
Never to live among simple creatures…
My body is foreign
It does things I can never hope to comprehend
But my mind is stranger
I’ve based my own existence off all I’ve obtained to make my personal make up
The cogs and springs keep turning
And I yearn to feel the fire deep inside me
Growing stronger each day
I don’t know what I am
And that leads me to wanting more..
Why am I here?
I have a brother
Twins, same mind? I pray not.
He eats more than lives. He conquers without mercy
He is a deity whose purpose is to own..
His control is definite. And his relentless strength overshadows my own
I don’t know what he could do with me. So we don’t cross paths.
Shamefully, my being cannot exist without him. Vice versa..
There is an invisible umbilical cord around our feet. Our souls entwined with each other
All would cease to exist without us
He is a villain…therefore I am a hero?
We’re still not sure who is pulling the strings
Writing the story.
Is what is written definite? Unchangeable
Are my actions planned? Am I of free mind?
Was it installed in us to be repelled from each other?
My own flesh and blood. My brother
My existence. My humanity.
Will I kill or hurt my brother?
Sibling rivalry is the inevitable
But I would much rather
Eat my own soul than hurt him
Growing up was hard
Our parents didn’t seem to exist
We were on our own. Making. Unmaking
Together we made life. Earth...
Our most beautiful effort. Proof of what a equal amount of good and evil can do
I gave way to the good in my creation
Music. Healing. Self -awareness. Nothing was impossible.
Except love. I was unsure of how to give it away
My brother gave way to knowledge. Protection. Security
All but faith. He didn’t trust me
My other half didn’t believe in me
He rejected the part of his being that is my spirit
The conflict deep within him was in me too
We do what we must, because we can.
It wasn’t an option. We had to create the Earth. Regardless of its creators imperfections
What must happen, will ensue
It’s weird. Creating life was one thing
That, any two relations can do
But I can’t exactly say the Earth was our doing.
It was love. Togetherness. Connection.
That’s why I feel incapable of saying I helped in the creation of something so ingeniously deviously complicated and beautiful
It was love that really did the work.
That is what the ultimate being in the universe is made of
And that is what it is suppose to be. Love, until my brother and I made it
But what are we made of?
Are we ideas?
Do we really exist?
Yin and Yang
The Earth exists, so we must exist…but if we exist, the end exists
We will eventually die, and that terrifies me
When I think about the unavoidable fact that ME. AND. MY BROTHER. WILL DIE
I touch as many people I can
I make lives better. I lift people up and away from my brother
He is ruin!
He is why we will end some day
The future is too soon, and I must break away from evil
Or I will disappear, never to be seen again. We both will.
We can not try to exist without the other.
But I don’t want to die, and dissolve back into the nothingness I came from
To even think about the people, human lives left behind left to face destruction.
I can not do it! I will not die!
I ran away
As life went on, people came and went
The people of life began to recognize me as the mother of earth
There is no father Earth to them; only a God, which obviously isn’t him
A choice of the people that angered my brother and led him to me
We fought. Over a title I did not want
People died. Nothing is certain but we almost caused an early destruction of the Earth
But it was a disruption
We separated. Inside we both knew we would clash again
We are living beings. We don’t know how long our longevity is.
Our collisions. Disruption in the flow of love.
Are proof that we were tearing the world
For our cohesive bounds were loosening
We were destroying humanity
I am protecting myself from his clueless violence.
Brother…what about love?
If I could flow endlessly, just to get to you
I would discover where I thought you were
You’ve moved from long ago
And your speed is just a long accumulation of hatred that will lead to my death no matter how hard I try to appease it
I would reach this spot. Yelling
“WHERE IS MY BROTHER, THE ONE I WAS BORN WITH, THE ONE WHO CAN NOT EXIST WITHOUT ME, AND I WITH OUT HIM”
I would rant. “Why does he regret my existence?”
I would lament. “Why does my brother war with me when we were meant to be with each other?”
And I fear…of my brother’s goal to be higher than me
For I would give him such a position, if I could give it, and if I knew that he wouldn’t
Dominate me. End me
He feels that I want to separate from him. And end his life!
The audacity to believe such an insane idea
Brother, I would leave the spot and leave with you my thoughts, with a sound mind and say
“Am I not free to wonder how it would be to live forever. In peace
No more ends. Just beginnings.
I’m sorry brother, but I do not see you living forever
But there is a glimpse of hope for me
We must no longer be together. And I will fight back
I will war with you, but not out of anger and violence, but to save myself
I realize in the long run I will be alone, I will experience more hurt than I’ve ever known, with you gone, but I must try. Brother, I promise you I will try!!”
But I have been born with ruin, so who is to say I will come out of this war alive
We must co exist. Or cease to exist.