golden browns

January 19, 2012
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Those big warm inviting golden brown eyes stared across at me,
Piercing my heart with cupid’s arrows...
Those big golden brown eyes always seem to haunt me when I close my eyes or lay awake.
Those eyes are like a portal staring through me
seeing stuff that is unspoken like,
a little girl who isn’t ready to grow up yet,
a little girl that isn’t ready to trust,
and a little girl who just wants to find that special someone.
When I sit at those places we spent together remembering the times we kissed,
the times you told me you loved me,
the times you told me that were gonna last forever,
those times are what I keep down In my heart hoping one day ill have them again.
One day I will sit at the place you and I always wanted to go together, to the “out back”. Australia hills and valleys I walk till I sit and watch the sun set, drinking my tea,
and listening to our song...
wishing that you would hurry up and appear.
Sitting in such a peaceful and quiet place taking in everything making sure I don’t miss a thing.
I look at my surrounding and see the little animals walking around,
the sun setting,
the water glistening from the sun.
I can hear the sounds of the animals calling for their families,
I can hear the water calmly moving through the rocks in the stream,
I can hear my heart racing faster and faster as I think of you.
I can still taste the lemon from my tea,
I can still taste the carmex from the kiss we last shared,
and I can still taste the last salty tear that dropped.
I pick up this vibrant pink and yellow flower and started to peel off the petals they were fuzzy and soft a weird but nice sensation between my fingers, I pealed each petal off and would say to myself...
He loves me...
he loves me not…
he loves me…
and he loves me not…
I picked up all the notes you wrote me and starting to feel the rough paper for memories,
I picked up the hoodie I always wore that reminded me of you its still warm and soft just like usual.
As I stare up at the sky only to notice that the skys sun is warming me up as if it was a blancket protecting me from the breeze.
As I sit at this beautiful place I hope that one day I wont cry my self to sleep at night , one day I hope that every little thing wont remind me of you,
one day I hope that I could forget all the memories
And just move on
and one day I will..
The sound of my heart screaming scares me because it’s a sign that me and you won’t be together.

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