December 11, 2011
The whole world shook
But yet I stayed by your side
But you were so stubborn
That you turned to the world

Before you turned to me
So I shook the world
To get rid of all the
People who were untrue

To you
It's ironic, actually
Because when I did that
You were stuck with me

So you ran
You couldn't believe
That someone like me
Could love someone

Like you
It's true that you defiled
But even a girl defiled

Is a girl loved
So be loved
By me

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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Angel_Writer said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 12:10 pm
I like it. You are learning to create the flow in your words, as I am myself. Keep writing, and you will become better.
Znathan said...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 5:29 pm
This is amazing. I would suggest you change the last 3 lines a bit, they don't taste as well as the rest of the poem. But even if you keep it this way, it's a great poem. Congrats.
BrokenBree said...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Really nice! Good meaning behind it as well. I don't know many stories from the bible, but this is one I knew so I was quite delighted with your poem! Great job!
enc@geLoves replied...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Thanks a lot!!!!
readlovewrite said...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 12:27 pm
This is amazing.  I read it twice through and I thought I understood it at first....But it is like reading Shakespeare - you read it once and it means one thing, and then you read it once more and it is like the poem has a whole new meaning.  This is really strong, and I really like how you broke up your lines and stanzas (especially the first three or four).  Keep writing, this is really good!
enc@geLoves replied...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Awww! Thanks.
lilmartz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 19, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Wow. I can't believe I'm saying this but this has to be the best poem on this website I have ever read. For once, I can honestly say there is nothing that needs to be changed. The only part that maybe could use a little bit of work are the last 2 lines. They seem a little weak and generic, but maybe in time something better might come to you. I have no suggestions for it. I love the transitions between stanzas, and I love the metaphor! Really, really great job! This should be published in the ma... (more »)
enc@geLoves replied...
Dec. 19, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Thanks that really means a lot.
jkilmer replied...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 11:01 pm
I liked it. I don't know many stories from the bible, that one included, but I know of it and your poem was nicely written.
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