April 25, 2008
By Matt Howell, Nashville, TN

A wobbling drunk Teutonic ogre stumbled
into the petite southern belle in the
hazy Munich bar.
My brother struts to the scene
only to ask the ogre to help the now
withered flower up off the floor.
"Hey you brute! Extend a helping paw!"
The ogre instead extended a fist,
that is all it took to spark this
German nightclub brawl
between a large group of senseless,
barbaric, hairy, drunk, overgrown
German men
and twenty senseless, barbaric, hairy,
drunk ole' southern boyz.
In the middle of this drama towers one
senseless, barbaric, hairy, drunk
ole' southern boy --
my brother.
A couple of punches, kicks, and bodies
are flying down staircases in a
rhythmic bounce to German pop music.
His gentlemanly intentions went down a
couple flights of stairs
in a blaze of wanna-be glory.
His eye bulged out of its socket,
he staggered out of the heap,
his wounds gushed,
as he was dragged to jail.

Watching the Munich news he hunkered
over in shame when he was stated
to be
"a foreign problem."
He tried bravely to rescue the southern
and ended up apologizing
to both countries
for causing
such an embarassing scuffle.

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