White Knight

February 27, 2008
By Brad Helwagen, Mason, OH

White Knight

I wasn’t used to being thrown off my horse of solidity.
Upon it I was untouchable. Sarcastic. Cynical. Distant. Friendly.
Few got close, and when they did I refused to come down.
Off it I felt weak. My Courage could be attacked.
My emotions made to toys.
I would not have that. So I never fell off. I made sure.
I was okay.

That day wasn’t a particularly good or bad day. It just was.
I was going through the motions of living,
But I was burning with a longing as I always did.
Nothing new. I was always looking for something,
And yet taking each day as it came. I lived well.
And I was okay.

You ran into me, tossing me to the ground.
I was shocked.
I did not feel weak getting off that horse.
Nor did I feel alone as I did upon it.
Here was someone laughing and enjoying herself with me.
Someone I wanted to be with.
And I felt good.

“What is this?” I asked myself, as I quickly got back on and regained poise.
How could it be that I was okay with this attack?
I had been defenseless and had no weapon to fight this feeling with.
And yet…
I was well.

I began to pour over the recesses of my mind.
My mental tomes of what love and attraction were
Were being rewritten before me eyes, word by word.
But why? Romance was strange territory for me.
I was not unfamiliar, just uneasy with it. And yet…
I liked it.
And I was excited.

You struck with an unexpected force.
Destroying my shield, and turning my sword against me.
You had bewitched me, mind, body, and soul.
How could I refuse?
And I was happy.

You ended up cracking my armor,
Making a mockery of the happiness I thought I had,
Rewriting the entire thought process I knew…
Pretty words were all I used to have. Empty shells.
Now the words and full and fierce.
Fighting for your love and enjoying every minuet of it.
You drive the demons away.
You show me it’s okay to lay my sword down
And not fight every battle.
You cracked my armor and healed a heart.
You and you alone gave me the gift I now wear with pride.
A new armor. White. Pure. Unconditional.
With this I slew the beasts of your past, and healed your soul in return.
And that is why I am the White Knight.
Your White Knight.
My heart beats with a joy unmatched
And I am you hero.

Words of honored writers of old are cold and flat
Compared to what I tell you everyday.
It’s funny because these same words have been said numerous times before.
Yet when I say them to you they are the freshest breath of spring life
Into the cold, snow-less winter that was my solitude.
I keep you safe from the arrows and swords of any oppressor,
And I am Loved.


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