July 24, 2011
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My head is spinning
Round and round.

My feet can barely lift
Off the ground.

My hands are shaking
Left and right.

My throat is itchy,
Sore, and tight.

My eyes are filled
With salty tears.

My heart is aching
With all my fears.

I feel the letter
Underneath my fingers,
Where the smell of you
Still lingers.

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shadowrider said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 12:29 pm
This is beautiful! You really put yourself into this poem. Short and heartbreaking. Great rhythm and flow. Good piece! Maybe if you wanted to lengthen it or add a bit more description you could put some similes or metaphors. Just a thought.
Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 10:52 am
This is heartbreaking...:(

I could definitely see it getting into the magazine, you really put all of your emotions into this piece.
CarrieAnn13 said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 7:32 pm

I'm sorry for your loss; no one should have to go through that.

Anyway, this is a great poem!  It's simple, but is beautifully descriptive.  My only criticism is you should generally keep your stanzas the same length.  The last stanza with four lines was out of place because the other stanzas had two lines.

photolover26 replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 12:22 pm
I am so sorry! The way you put your emotions into words was a really beautiful thing. Amazing poem, and very moving. Good work, and hang in there :)
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