black tears

July 23, 2011
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I wake up every morning and your the first thing on my mind,
No matter what I try to do my thoughts always linger back to you,
And the fact that you will always be close to my side, yet so far away to touch,
The thought of not having you will always bring black tears to my eyes.

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CarrieAnn13 said...
Sept. 5, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Okay, I have some criticism.


1.  Generally speaking, even free verse poems are in a stanza format, not in a paragraph.  It’s not always the case, but that’s what readers generally expect.


2.  ‘Your’ should be ‘you’re’ in the first sentence.


3.  “No matter what I do…”  Put a period instead of a comma at the end of your sentence.


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