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To Seek Perfection
To see or not to see - that is the question:
Whether tis wiser to stay content with what I have been given,
to recognize the meaningful face of true being,
Or to dwell on the false ideals of perfection.
To criticize, to judge - I say to this no longer.
I will not bow, like a limb in the wind,
to the apprehension and scorn of my inner conscience,
to the everyday battle waging war within my head
a battle, at last, I am finally winning.
To envy, to think, to think perhaps too much.
To cringe in constant embarrassment of what I say, what I think, how I act and who I am.
To question the very beliefs, those that define my individuality.
Ay, there is the problem,
for in this thinking, this harmless play of thought, we see the true culprit.
The thief of character, who steals the light of awakening and acceptance and shuttles it to the dark.
Who is this I say, that mocks me, toys with my emotions, falsifies my actions, molds them into puppets.
Turning them into the very things that people expect of you.
The very things that people expect you to be.
An insignificant reputation, a petty ego that needs to be upheld for the sole sake of everyone else's approval.
Should I bend to this whim? Should I cast aside my person?
To accept, to love - to realize who you are.
To understand oneself, to the extent that each and everyday you thank the sky above for your existence,
and although it may be short in stature, you appreciate your life and take it in stride, for it is in this acceptance that we acknowledge the reasoning behind our continuation in this world.
Why we are not born to be perfect, why we have our quirks, our mundane routines, our quarrels, our relationships, our physical characteristics that separate one individual from another.
Thus, it is this that I end the scuffle between real and fake, the conflicts between finding self, and trouncing the ill-fated pawn that seemed to control my every move instead of the other way around.
My being is no longer interested in the facade of perfection, no longer haunted by the endless search for some inexistent goal that only hurt more in the end.
I see for the first time the things that truly matter, the things that make a difference,
and I am happy.