the spotlight is on you

February 5, 2008
I wanted to see you and I wanted to feel you.
I wanted to breathe you in,
absorb you,
get lost in your presence.
I didn’t though.
I sat in my bed with the lights off, staring at the television without watching it.
I held onto my phone as if it was my absolute job to do so
and I wished that you would text me
and ask me to come over.
I think I would have gone because I am a liar and a hypocrite
and it is so easy to give in to what I want.
I’ve said a million times that I don’t need you
and that I’m liberated and free
because you’re no longer my desire.
I don’t know who I was trying to convince…
myself maybe?

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