I left my eyes open by accident

February 4, 2008
By Tess Dixon, Greenvale, NY

I left my eyes open by accident, so tears escaped while I wasn't looking/
Thankfully I am alone/
With people I fake happiness so well that everyone is convinced/
Except me/
I'm not even a good actress/
But tonight I am alone/
I'm holding a book about my future, but someone takes it before I even open it/
They call over their shoulder that I can't know my destiny/
I ask their back if there will be a happy ending/
Then I wake up laughing/
I love surprises/
In the dark I am alone/
Attention is given out left and right, I don't want it, well not much of it/
I prefer hiding from it/
Like a desperate chameleon trying to blend in with so many things sometimes I almost/ lose sight of myself/
I'm opposed to being the center, I prefer the outside/
Where I can be almost alone/
A friend told me I should stop pretending to be what I'm not/
Well, ex-friend/
I told her I want to be seen a certain way/
And I'm not that certain way/
So I'm not pretending as much as I'm trying to change my personality/
She said I was rationalizing/
I stopped talking to her/
I'm back to being alone/
Sporadically I become sociable/
I like to observe everyone/
To listen to their conversations/
Secretly analyze them/
People are so desperate/
I'm not the only one who is a fraud/
They all are, they will do anything/
Absolutely anything/
So they don't end up alone/
So we don't end up alone./

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