You don’t talk to me the same,
You don’t hug me the same,
You don’t look at me the same.
No matter how hard we try,
The horrible truth is our relationship will never be the same.
And I don’t think I can learn to accept that.
There’s no accepting,
No forgetting,
What is there that I can do?
Everyone is so good at helping me put myself in terrible situations.
I always end up at fault.
I always end up getting hurt.
The horrible truth.

You promised.
But we both knew you couldn’t keep it.
I can’t either.
No matter how hard we both try,
There will always be that awkwardness between us.
I see you as my best friend,
Maybe that’s why it hurts more than it should.
It’s not the matter of how we act around each other,
It’s called acting for a reason.
It’s the matter of our feelings about each other.
The fact that you’re in love with her kills me.
You teased me,
Showed me exactly what I was missing,
What I can’t have no matter what.
I would rather have been oblivious to what I was missing.
It’s like a fresh bath of cookies were stuffed in my face,
Then eaten before my hungry eyes.

The horrible truth is that all this pain is self-inflicted,
I’ve taken self-mutilation to the next level,
Internal self-mutilation.
The horrible truth:
I’ve hurt myself,
I’ve hurt others,
But I don’t regret a single thing.
The sick horrible truth.