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Born Again

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I am the child of change, adopted by many.
From the intense fusion of hope and desire, I was born.

The many who fostered me, became me
Moulded by the hands of happiness and memories in the sun,
Shaped by the sharp blades of misery,
This is what I have become.

Yet, I say to you, I am missing a limb
With every passing moment in time, I am born anew.
With something missing, agreed
But not without a memory in the vault of thought.

The mother of change has brought unto me
A sense of reality, almost extinct in this make-shift world,
Where no one lasts, except my mother.



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WithPenAndScript said...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 10:38 am
Pretty Good :)
 
cowgirl4everThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 4:11 pm

It may be true that poem was "a little heavy for a girl your age," but its the truth, its reality, its what you, me,and everyone else is going through- it's something we can all relate to.

Personally, I love your poem! It is beautiful, descriptive, and well written.

I also love the metaphors you used such as "shaped by sharp blades of misery" and "molded by hands of happiness and memories in the sun." Those metaphors give you a better picture of what is being described in the po... (more »)

 
Mariam.J replied...
Jun. 25, 2011 at 12:57 am

If you've just written till the part where you described my metaphors, I've gotten your whole review .

If not, there's something wrong with my comupter :P

Yeah, thanks alot . Just wanted to put across what not only me, but everyone around me feels ..

But sadly, some don't accept it .

: )

 

 
cowgirl4everThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 25, 2011 at 8:43 am

yeah I noticed it cut me off :P But you did get my whole review except for the last two letters of poem. :D

Your welcome and don't worry about some people not excepting it. Some people won't, but that doesn't mean your poetry is bad. Its just their opinion ;P

 
pics-with-no-paint said...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 9:50 am
This was really amazing! I thought theines really flowed well and sort of fell over one another in the most graceful way! Thats a sign of a really good poet :) I think that you are right; the people who hurt us do change us in the forever kind of way and shape who we become as people. You demonstareted it lyricly in this poem. Beautiful!
 
Mariam.J replied...
Jun. 24, 2011 at 11:36 am

Oh, wow ! you're makin' me blush (:

I really do appreciate the way you've described my poem . Really nice to have positive feedback .

Thanks alot for your helpful feedback .

And yes, they hurt, but we're the winners in the end ;D :') 

 
pics-with-no-paint replied...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Haha about the blushing and you're quite welcome :)
 
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