Looking Back

January 10, 2008
By Jessica Ross, South Elgin, IL

I spent so many years alone and afraid,
Unable to trust in so many ways.
Living in a world taught to be great,
Knowing all along, my heart was full of hate.

My hopes had been lifted, again let down.
Wanted to scream, but couldn’t make a sound.
I thought life was over, wanting to let go.
You were always there, I just didn’t know.

You came into my life at a scary time for me.
I loved you when I saw you, I thought we couldn’t be.
Tried to make things work, but it was over quick.
Let down once again, I needed a true fix.

An entire year I wasted, being furious with you.
At first I blamed myself, then I blamed you too.
Tried to forget about you, to move you from my mind,
Still all my love for you, couldn’t be left behind.

In hopes of masking my emotions for you,
I spent time with others, trying to love them too.
I wish I could take back so many things I have done,
They only made me see that you’re my only one.

We soon became great friends, the best I’ve ever had,
Each week on and off again, I liked you just a tad.
Past years I wanted to tell you, just to let you know,
Yet fears flooded my memory, I simply wanted to show.

Loss had brought us closer, it gave us precious time.
I twice cried on your shoulder, and then you cried on mine.
None could ever compare to how you make me feel.
In my honest opinion, I’ve made quite a steal.

I will remember the night I kissed you, for all eternity.
I finally proved my passion, and believed we just might be.
From there we moved quickly, getting closer every day,
I realized how much I loved you, in every single way.

I know my thought about you will never, ever change.
I love you now and always, please always stay the same.
I can’t wait to be with you, for the rest of my life.
Looking forward to the day I will become your wife.

You took away my sadness, and everlasting fear.
I cherish every second I have you while you’re here.
You gave me everything you had without a second thought,
The love and happiness we will share can not be bought.

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