I was all alone in my tiny little home, no one to talk to or play with, just me sitting on my bed. Never in my life have I felt this way before. You would never have guessed that a girl like that can leave scars so deep. Her death was so, surreal. No one could tell that she was dying slowly. She came to school so happy, so fake. But deep inside she was hurting, more than anyone would ever know. I hardly caught my breath when I heard the news. I almost fell to my knees because my head, heart, and soul took a full one-eighty. What would I do without her, she was everything I had. We did everything together, went everywhere together. How could she do this to me, leave me here without telling me how terribly sick she was? I loved her so much but I will never forgive her. She was my other half and now she lies six feet under. The day of the funeral was awful. I hurt so much that day, I didn’t want to let her go, I just felt like crawling into her coffin and lay next to her. This goodbye has been the hardest goodbye of my life. I have lost myself even in my room. On my bed I am alone and lost within the walls.
April 1, 2011