Sonnet #1

June 12, 2008
By Julia Ruth, University Park, MD

Love is not a place in which we can hide,
with a forest of trees to stand between,
and the rain of sweet petals at our side;
No chain connecting us to the real spring.

Instead it is love that hides and not us;
Not gone, it lingers behind a shadow,
so we are still left with the world's distrust,
as we teach each other of what we know.

But as we fight, it is the moon that guides,
and it is the spring that we must conquer.
As we procure, it's the fiddle that hides,
and it is the world we win together.

It is behind love's walls we dare not hide,
When the power released does not divide.

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This article has 1 comment.

sqfnyc said...
on Dec. 31 2008 at 4:05 am
It doesn't feel like a sonnet, for one, although you've done the Shakespearean rhyme scheme correctly. Sadly, you have nice language but it feels like you're just making pretty words without substance, as if the rhyme scheme and structure and flowery clichés are limiting you, not expressing you. Don't try to talk about too much; there is a powerful sentiment in the poem that needs to become manifest. I would try again with the same feeling that this poem has but with a freer approach. You need not abandon the sonnet structure (it's a classic favorite) but make it less mechanic.


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