He sees
me
and he knows.
I've kept it hidden for so long.
It's strange
for me to talk about it.
He's the only one who knows
me.
It's too bad I don't know him.

I didn't tell him.
I ask him who told.
He says
"No one."
He lies,
I think.
I don't know.
Too tired and broken to care.

I cannot see him,
but he smiles.
Gentle
loving.
I know he understands.
Who is he?
So many questions.
I need to sleep.

There is no more darkness
I can see his face,
his light
I WONDER....


NO.
he Left me.
Long ago.
There is NO such thing.

he Left me.

LIES!
he doesn't understand me
he doesn't understand who I am
he Left me.
Long ago.
When I needed him most.

Left me here to whither up and
DIE.
To be Nothing.
I am Nothing.
I am Hurt.


But
There is warmth.
Luminance.
Shining from His skin.

He feels like a father is supposed to feel.
I want to hug Him.
To be engulfed in the light.
And never part from it.


But I step back.
And doubt.

"Why did you leave?"
I ask.
"You were supposed to be here."
"Forever."

But..
He speaks.
"I never left you."

He never left me.
He was here all the time.

"I never saw you."
"I never spoke to you."

"I was here when your heart broke.'
" And when you were hurt."
"I was here when you thought all was lost."
" When you were scared."
" I was waiting all the time,
watching out for you."
"Waiting for it to be more than you could handle."
" But I trusted you,
because you are stronger than you know."
" I believed in you."
" And I still do."