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Take it all in.
Give it all out.
My head spins.
My heart fills with laughter.
The relationship fuzzy
from then on. But now I’m done.
I always say I’m done.
Then all of the memories come back in.
Relationship no longer fuzzy.
Emotions pour out.
I remember the laughter.
Now my whole life spins.
World freezes no more spins.
This time its official. We’re both done.
No more love. No more laughter.
Try to take new people in.
Try to block him out.
Everyday life is now fuzzy.
Months go by going through the motions still fuzzy.
Sick of hurting. Sick of being off kilter. Sick of these spins.
I think he’s out.
The he reappears so sudden. “But we were done!”
I cry. He has me in his trap. With the flip of a switch, he’s back in.
How do I let him do this? Next is the return of the laughter.
I love it. The way he makes me feel. How he fills my life with laughter.
Just like that. The switch flips again. The fog rolls in. Return: fuzzy.
To think I let you back. With my heart I went all in.
This time too even numb to feel the spins.
Forever this time. Can’t let myself go back. Have to be done.
I start to hurt. Bottoms up. As it comes in. All my thoughts and feelings go out.
About to pass out.
I hear everyone around me. My house fills with the laughter.
I’ve had way too much. Put it down. Walk away. I’m done.
Figures round me are fuzzy.
The basement spins.
Then it freezes. Unexpectedly. He. Him. The one. Walks in.
Out of my mind. Lock it up in a box.
Close the door on the laughter. Book spins to a new chapter.
Mind no longer fuzzy. I finish this poem. And our relationship. Done.