sincerely, emily

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dear mom & dad, my friends, and myself:

(this applies to all of you)

im sorry that i talk behind your backs. im sorry that i put you down all the time. im sorry that i say things like “i hate you” and “i wish things were different”, because the truth is, i just get mad.
im sorry that i do things that i regret later on in life. im sorry that im not the person that lives up to everyone's standards. im sorry that im not the smartest, or the prettiest person, and im also sorry that i dont try hard enough.
im sorry that i call you names, and put you down to make myself feel better. im sorry if i make you feel like a terrible (parent, friend, human being) because your not…i just do things to get out my anger. i say things so i can feel bad for myself, so i can get pity from myself.
im sorry that i do this, because it doesnt help in any way. crushing someone elses confidence wont strengthen mine, being a terrible person and trying to get pity for it wont change the way things are…once again, i do this when im mad.
im sorry that i run my mouth of so much, and tell secrets to people i know i shouldnt. im sorry if a rumor gets started about you, because of my carelessness.
im sorry i dont think before i act. and im sorry that i can be such a b****.

dear parents:

im sorry if i dont clean my room, if i forget to put my dishes away. im sorry that you have to drive me and my friends everywhere. im sorry that im always asking you for money, and never pay you back. im sorry that im selfish and a moody teenager. im sorry that i dont tell you i love you anymore, and im sorry i push you away when all youre trying to do is be there for me. im sorry i like my privacy, and keep my door closed and locked 24/7. im sorry i dont talk at dinnner. im sorry that im not as smart as my brother, or as cool as him. im sorry that im not you, but im not sorry im me.

dear friends:

i kind of summed it up in my message before, but im sorry. im sorry that ive lost some of you, or that ive been stupid and said something about you. yes, we all do it, but that doesnt make it right. it will never be right to betray your best friend.
im sorry if you dont like me anymore, but it doesnt change what i did. if i was a bad friend, im sorry. if i talked behind your back, im sorry. if i changed… i'm not sorry….i'm sorry if you don't like who i've become.

dear myself:

im sorry i dont look in the mirror and see beautiful. im sorry that i have to put on makeup, and a nice outfit to make myself slightly prettier. im sorry that i pluck my eyebrows, and shave…sometimes it hurts more than the truth. talking about truth, im sorry that life isn't like the movies and tv shows i watch. im sorry that i feel confident, and im sorry that i havent had a boyfriend in a while. im sorry that i make myself cry, and im sorry that i have a lot problems. im sorry that i try so hard to be someone else, but i cant. im sorry i sometimes hate who i am, and dont appreciate that i have loving parents, and loving friends, and a fortunate life, but i cant help but think who i am isnt good enough. im sorry that im not popular, and that i dont have as many friends as my friends have. im sorry that people talk behind my back, but i do it too, so were even. im sorry that i lost probably about 10 friends in the last 2 1/2 years. im sorry that im emily; im sorry that im not who i want to be.





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lexlex600 said...
Feb. 1, 2011 at 8:38 am
srry bout ur life im like that too, somtimes we need to do things to let our feelings out and not let anyone know how we feel
 
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