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I Don't Have You

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Fake smiles tearing me apart
Not knowing I’d get this hurt at the start
Feeling pain every time I see
There is no more us, it’s only me.
Pretending everything is okay
But knowing that to this very day
We somehow moved on
The best part of my life is suddenly gone.
I know things will be all right
I can’t believe this all happened from just one fight
I knew that things would get rough
But I didn’t know life would be so tough
You not being friends with me hard to face
Those memories will never be erased
I’ll remember them for years to come
So for now my heart is numb
I’ll miss you being my friend
But I have to try getting through all of life’s bends.

I know that life will now change
And all familiar things will now seem strange
People say time will heal
But this time I know that’s not real
I guess it’s time to move on
And forget about this once upon
Now I understand this was too good to be true
Because I realize I don’t have you.
I miss having you here with me
Now I know that’s not where you’re supposed to be.
Goodbye, old friend.



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This article has 14 comments. Post your own now!

Auburn-M. said...
Jan. 9, 2011 at 9:04 pm
Often through out the poem I could imagine my own fights I had the displeasure to be involved in, so that was a very cool thing. This is sad, but I don't think it was meant to be all rainbows, unicorns and bright sunshine, so mission accomplished, you've effected a reader.
 
AgnotTheOdd said...
Jan. 9, 2011 at 8:37 pm
As was said before, this was a little bit of an inconsistent poem, however, it actually succeeded in making me a little depressed.  So you evoked emotion, good job there.  I've kinda finished my comment, and I'm still a little glum, mind cheering me up with some commentary on any of my articles?
 
The_Phantom_ofthe_Opera This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 9, 2011 at 10:39 am

Hi, good job with this poem, it had real emotion. I think a lot of people will relate to this, especially because you used an original personal slant on your poem.

If there is any criticism to be made, it's the lack of advanced vocabulary and an eneven meter. There is meter in some lines, but not others, try to make it a bit more consistant. 

Other than that, it was very good, and I liked it.

Chess Pieces or The Last Day please! (Forum commenter) x

 
angelchic2 said...
Jan. 8, 2011 at 9:48 pm
I can completely relate to this. Especially being in high school it really seems like some of the relationships that you've had for forever dissolve after just one fight and you grow apart and its so heartbreaking. Thank you for writing this because it's so true.
 
summerqdp said...
Nov. 15, 2010 at 6:35 pm

Wow, I very much enjoyed this! Very nice flow.

I like this:

"I know things will be all right
I can’t believe this all happened from just one fight"

 

Sooooo very, very true. It can all be dissolved in one fight. ha, well done. Very well done.

 
gracegirl29 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 5:55 am
i'm sorry, i just realized that you already commented on that poem. sorry for the confusion:)
 
gracegirl29 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 30, 2010 at 7:07 pm
this is great, i gave it 5 stars! it is very simple, while covering a complex and sensitive issue. that is it's greatest strength. if i had to give you any advice, i would maybe add some figurative lanquage to liven it up a bit, but i actually like it just the way it is. i have a poem about something very similar. it is called the window to the right. check it out please? or any of my work!
 
GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 24, 2010 at 12:55 pm
This is amazing. I relate so much about a guy who was my friend who I had feelings fore. We started dating and now it's over and he can't even look at me much less talk to me. Great stuff. SO relatable, great flow, I don't have anything bad to say about this. Keep writing!
 
Michelle24 said...
Oct. 22, 2010 at 10:42 pm
That was beautiful!! Check out my work please! Four of my pieces just got put up :)
 
redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 21, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Great poem! You expressed your feelings sooo well. I know what it feels like to miss a dear friend and when I read your poem, I thought of that time in my life. I'm sure that overs will be able to relate to it's message or to at the very least, it's emotions. I gave it 5 stars and added it to my favorites!
 
mandapanda9736 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 21, 2010 at 5:51 am
pretty imagery, nice rhyme :) my favorite line is "People say time will heal, But this tim I know that's not real"
 
Phoenix97 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 9:30 pm

I have a couple favorite lines in this one:

'There is no more us, its only me'

and 'I Guess it's time to move on/And forget about this once upon'

Overall, I like this one. It has nice imagery, flows well, and is definitely easy to relate to. Good work. :)

 
XiniaAngelita replied...
Oct. 29, 2010 at 10:48 pm
Wow, I'm sure almost anyone can relate to this!!! Flow was good, it could perhaps be a tiny bit smoother, but I really liked it, and the wording was beautiful!!! Keep it up!!!! :D
 
J.Octavian.R This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 31, 2010 at 9:35 pm

The meter seems somewhat disjointed at points. but this seems to be free verse, so that is not technically "wrong." My mai ncritique is the weak vocabulary and lack of complexity in the rhyming words.

Example: knew that things would get rough
But I didn’t know life would be so tough

 

There is no stark contrast between what defines rough and tough. There is no emphasis on how much harder reality is than expectation.

 

I knew that life wo... (more »)

 
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