fleeting hesitation

June 2, 2008
at this misty train station
I sit, ticket in hand
my to-do list all crossed out
everything's been thought about
except this moment
I don't know what I'm doing
though I've planned out every step
I've told myself I'm sure
but I think I'm losing track
this ticket holds my future:
everything they've said is right
everything I've decided I agree with
but not what I've dreamed about at night
what if this me I'm sure about
is just a fake?
is the real me not as good?
because this me has a ticket-
a ticket to riches and fame
but I'm qualified!
I proved I'd sell my soul
for their label and their name
I worked and sweat
my childhood away
I told myself that whatever I gave
had to be worth what I got
the train is calling
it was quite easy to get on it
and watch the station fade away
as I think on this now
I said I didn't want to throw my life away
but I think I was too scared
to find my own success
and let my dreams come alive

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