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Oh Darling Sekuleur-
You are the pudding to my cup.
My dessert is a dull crust of toast
Without you by my side to sup.
I am in love though outwardly grossed.
How I adore watching you mounch
And slup thick pumpkin soup
While gorging yourself 'pon mutton chops.
What gorgeous manners have you with food!
And sweetly, I lift a cloth
To your thin, sable beard.
Thus I wipe away the foam and froth
That your healthy appetite hath smear'd.
You alone can quench my thirst.
With your breath stained and hot
The pouches of your cheeks swell and burst.
I would be satisfied but for a draught.
We are, my lovely, a flavorful couple
Such as jelly and peanut cream.
For you I would have every meal doubled
If only t'would help to keep you lean.