Letter to My Former Self

October 31, 2007
Last night I looked in the mirror,
And you weren’t there.
Messy brown
Dizzy blonde
And the whites of your eyes
Were bleeding red

I tried to replace you
With everything you were afraid of.
I emulated the things you hated
In the people you loved the most.
I scared you away,
And I wish I knew
Where to find you,
Because when you left,
You took my innocence
With you.

I would take back those nights
Of tingling calms
In my fingertips.
I’d forget everything
From my intoxicated memory.
I would white out my eyes
If they would shine the same way,
If I could see you looking back at me
From the other side
Of this foggy mirror.

I think I need you now
More than ever.

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