I Spy

July 27, 2010
By Baron-esque BRONZE, Dunno, Alabama
Baron-esque BRONZE, Dunno, Alabama
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep to thyself, yo."

I spy a lollipop, looking sweet and red;

I spy the receptionist, his nametag stating, “Ted”;

I spy the phone he’s using, with a long, loopy chord;

I spy the wall it’s attached to, but I don’t care about it — I’m bored;

I spy the wallpaper, with pictures of brown bears kissing;

I spy the chair touching it — a piece of leather is missing;

I spy a TV, one with a happy woman speaking;

I spy a bottle for a baby, one that’s really leaking;

I spy a flash on the TV, a silly, weird commercial;

I spy another flash, then another — but just an infomercial;

I spy, again, the lollipop, still so, so alluring;

And again I wonder: I’m a grown man playing I Spy — what am I doing?

The author's comments:
Still play the game, unfortunately.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Aug. 23 2010 at 8:30 am
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

Hahaha. This made me laugh. I love I Spy, so I especially appreciate it. I really liked the way it ended... as I've noticed in your pieces, your last lines are always fabulous. One thing I would say is that this is such a fun poem, so why not have a little more fun with the rhythm, rhyming and flow. I thought you could have picked a rhythm that bounced more. Instead, this rhyming kind of laid flat, if you get what I mean....?? Like kind of Dr. Seuss-esque would have been cool. This is a goofy poem. Why not play it up some more? 

Overall, I enjoyed it, and with a poem like this, who can take it too seriously? Good job, and bonus points for originality. ;)

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