What it Feels Like

April 26, 2010
By , Marshfield, WI
So this is what it feels like.
A few tears and a shaky breath.
So this is what it feels like to die.

It’s still unbelievable to me
how much I needed you.
And I still can’t believe
How much I still do.

It’s safe to say
that I didn’t want it to end like this.
No sad goodbyes
No goodbye kiss.

But I don’t regret
this thing that I’ve done.
And even as I take my last breath
I manage to think of you some.

About the way your laugh
Could make me laugh or cry
There’s no doubt in my mind
You were always my better half.

And as the darkness closes in,
I’ll think of you some more.
About the hurt look on your face
As you walked out my door.

But I’ll still try to forget
About the cool steal of this gun
I’m just trying to get rid of all this pain.
It weighs a ton.

It keeps pushing me down
Causing my heart to ache.
And I know from this act
I’ll hopefully never wake.

I close my eyes
And with my last fleeting breath
I grasp for one last happy memory
That I’ll carry into death.

The feeling of your tears
As they mixed with mine.
The soft sound of our heartbeats
Keeping perfect time.

So this is what it feels like.
A memory of a love slipping away.
A memory once so cherished by us both.
A memory that's now gone away.

My fingers shake
as they clutch for the trigger
And it's then that I feel it again,
the touch on my face of your rough fingers.

My other hand automatically
reaches towards my cheek
touching the place
where your fingers should be.

My breath catches
and I open my eyes.
The meet the darkest of brown;
eyes that I quickly recognise.

So this is what it feels like.

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