Shooting Star

December 1, 2009
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I wish I could go to school without make up and still feel beautiful.
Still feel confidence radiating from my eyes,
because I'd see life in glowing colors,
letting my excitement light the way,
I could leave make up masks behind
and wouldn't have to watch my feet walk,
because I would already know I'm moving forward
unlocking an inner beauty that would cause my skin to shimmer without bronzer,
I wouldn't need blush to make my cheeks flush,
instead the blood would rush to my head,
because I would realize I'm alive,
and not care what anyone else said.
Maybe then,
I wouldn't be late to school.
I wish I didn't need eye liner to make me look more awake,
instead my eyes would already be wide with wonder.
wouldn’t want flesh toned armor
to conceal proof I stayed up late finishing the homework I put off,
put on another persona,
like as long as mascara lines my eyes,
you can't see my vulnerability,
but tears keep making my composure dissolve,
so I've switched to waterproof,
there's nothing cute about a weak woman,
I just want you to do a double take
see something a little more celestial,
beaming light like the cosmic rays,
falling back on cosmetics each day,
to make me feel more beautiful,
but if you put it that way,
it sounds like a drug.
A high middle school tweens can't wait to get hooked on,
smearing eye shadow to curb their cravings for confidence,
I feel like I'm addicted.
Anxious without this antidote to self consciousness,
without my confidence fix
I wish,
I didn't find self worth in a $6 tube of mascara.
I wish I didn't compare myself to other girls.
Didn't feel the need to feed on flaws,
so I could evolve from a catty female into a poised lioness,
elegant and sure,
emitting inspirational words like verbal sunlight,
I wouldn't care if others shot me down,
because I'd have nine tries to try to change others lives.
reminding women you aren't a piece of meat to be hunted down,
you're more than what you eat,
I wish diet wasn't in women's vocabulary,
that food was a friend and not a frenemy,
the one you spend time with but secretly hate,
I hate that calories are constantly on my mind.
Jenny Craig is a friend that
profits from plummeting self esteem,
do you think these companies would exist if they didn't point our flaws in the first place?
An industry built with bricks of imperfection,
it's a hard weight to carry when your size can hold you back,
looking back,
women have always been a trophy,
wife, a possession,
a doll,
just an object to play with,
I'd be surprised if every woman in this room couldn't relate,
we are so focused on our appearance because from the start,
we've been told that's the most we have to offer,
princesses are seen but rarely lead,
and I refuse to waste time waiting to be saved,
I prefer to be seen and heard,
shooting stars shouldn't be wasted on these dreams,
Next time I'll wish for something else.

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