When you eat ice-cream
Your teeth tend to freeze
And small food gets caught
Like popcorn and peas

Don’t even get me started
On the sores you’ll attain
From those metal bracket tracks
That were made for a train

When you try to talk
You lips get a lisp
And it’s nearly impossible
For two braced kids to kiss

They’ll let you choose colors
To make them look “cool”
But why don’t they give you
A bucket for drool?

No more soda or candy
So forget trick-or-treating
And flossing is useless
Your gums just start bleeding


Those awful monthly checkups
Are there to take up your time
So that a mouth full of teeth
Will—someday—be aligned

And when they’re all straightened
And you’re through with the strife
They’ll hand you a retainer
You wear it for life!

Not only financially
Braces run a high price
But hey, you made it
And your smile looks real nice