I will always love you

October 1, 2009
what the hell is wrong with me?
i thought I was over you and moved on already.
i guess not then, right?
i don't think so, not quite.

i miss you so much,
words can barely describe my emotions.
i miss your voice, your hugs, your kisses, your touch...
and all the other little things you'd do to show your devotion.

to tell you the truth,
i've never really been over you.
why? 'Cause I still love you,
and that's something I can't help but continuously do.

i've tried resisting this...
all these emotions feel so wrong,
yet so right all at the same time.
i dreamt that in each others' hearts was where we belonged;
our love for each other was one of a kind.

well, it was, until that day came
when your jealousy got the best of you.
you threw it all away, and said I was to blame
for everything falling apart, which wasn't completely true.

i only loved you;
i didn't think I was doing anything wrong.
i don't want to throw away everything we've been through;
we've known each other for far too long.

i'm not sure what I should do at this point.
should I at least try to fix things with you?
or should I just go on with life,
as this pain continues to cut me like a knife?
is it even worth a try?
or is trying just gonna make me start to cry?
i just don't want things to end this way;
a mixture of pain & elation striking my heart every time I see you.
every single thing between us is far from okay,
and they never will be, as much as I wish we could start anew.

let me just tell you
what I've been holding in all along;
no matter how much it seems I hate you,
don't think that 'cause you're wrong.
i won't deny it anymore,
no matter how many times you've made my heart sore;
i don't know if this is true for you too,
but no matter what, I'll always love you.

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