Hello For Now

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I cautiously drove up next to him, put my car in park.
I let loose my hair, puckered my lips in the mirror, just praying for that spark.
Today was the day, the first day, the twenty-fifth of June.
Trembling with anxiety as I pulled open the door at four in the afternoon,
His smile greeted me like a sparkling ray of sunlight on a frigid winter day.
My heart was hooked. Everything was going to be okay,
After all we had only said hello for now.

I lingered around my room, awaiting his “I’m here!” text.
Running out the door at half past nine, I jumped in the passenger seat anticipating what he would do next.
I leaned in towards him, and softy pressed my lips against his cheek.
His blushed face provided me with pure bliss. He was making me weak.
The windows of his Nissan scrolled down as we drove through the Brunswick at night.
My hair fluttered, and as we lived our Florescent Adolescent with them Brooklyn Girls, I thought to hold on tight.
We were seventeen. It had just begun.
His hand gripped mine. I knew there was more to come.
After all, we had only said hello for now.

In plaid pink boxers, and with a gold chain adorning my neck
I wanted the perfect ambiance to keep tonight from becoming a wreck.
My tummy was in knots, and my heartbeat was animated.
Seeing him in his plain green t-shirt deviated
My thoughts. He was perfect. And he had me.
He lay on top of me and the passion flowed freely.
Though his tender touch gave me a sense of security,
I wanted more than he could give me
He said, “after all, we have only said hello for now.”

I was scared but also attached.
I desperately wanted us to be the perfect match.
He told me he didn’t see the beauty in me.
Despite all I gave, good friends was all we were meant to be.
I hate myself because I didn’t give it to him on purpose
Somehow he snuck and stole my heart’s surface.
Our summer nights flashed by,
Searching for a way to rewind, I couldn’t help but stop, break down and cry.
Torn by the memories, I couldn’t believe we had only said hello for now.

I was fearful that I was fearlessly falling.
Frightened, feeling the need to pull away,
I gazed into his piercing blue eyes,
Sighed, and realized
that I had to say goodbye for now.





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