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Desperation

By , rutland, VT
what a pathetic life
sitting with my arms bare and white
staring dead at that knife
a simple pocket knife
now becomes a weapon
a design, a destiny
a life ender in which i crave
you say you love me
as you try to save
what ive become
im nothing as i was a year past
im not sure what in me
still last's
but you scream and you cry
my mind travels farther than
my shoes have ever seen
in a matter of immortal time
my vision goes blind
and im stuck in a blur
asking why
the realization isnt clear
i wish all of this could
make its way and dissapear
im sick of the love im stuck with
and the rejection i face
fists covered in bitter-sweet
signs of affection
i miss you and crave you
and you scream "ill save you"
you dont get it
im nothing more than the monster
ive let myself transform to
im not the you, you used to know
i took my pain and it grew
with drugs and alchohol
i let myself ignore the mutation
it was more of a sedation
than anything else
i lost my love
i lost my heart
and as it all falls apart
im loosing my mind
i need your help
but i neglect to take it
and everyone asks question
i say im ok
and manage to fake it
im not ok
im an actor
im not here
im distant
and i detest the resistance i cant bare to fight
i swear i have enough left
to say whats wrong
but the path behind me
its hard to see whats gone
i merely forget now
i lost my words at the last tree
my shadow left me long ago
and now its only me
i ran everyone away
even you
and i have nothing left
i can make up to say





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