I try to look deeper into myself, im blocked by a challenging mental wall.luminous colors dance around it, pleading my acceptance. colors i didnt think were possible to see, deep brooding blues, and forever blacks; they're calling to me, yearning my attention. im alone, opposing the wall. it wants me to step forward and proceed the process i have already began. i knew i couldnt go back once i started, so do i touch it? will it be fragile and shatter like everything else in my life? i don't want to trust it's stability, misjudging my own mental strengths. the colors hear me, they spark with an essence that ushers me towards them. i press my palm against the wall and my heart leaps. electrifying emotions sufficing my mind. the doorway opens, and i see everything rush past me. i step through and are accompanied by reds. love and compassion, something i dont know what to deal with. something that's been hidden inside me all this time. the essence of these colors warm me to the depth of my soul; i'm loved for once. i trust myself, and realize that u wasnt the one shattering the fragile moments of bliss that seldom accompanied me, they were hurting me. i'm loved by someone, even though it may just be by me.
looking inside yourself .
August 16, 2009