Illusionist

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Will I ever be good enough,
will I ever measure up to the standards set by you,
you see troubled souls who need help,
I see perfection,
you see abandonment and heartache,
I see beauty and love,
is anything I see real,
is it really like I see it,
or is my vision marred by my own selfish thoughts,
my thoughts that haunt me day and night,
while I lay awake and wait,
just wait, and wait, and wait
for you,
for you to help me,
for you to finally give my life meaning,
for you to make me feel worth living,
for you to save me from myself,
do you hear me,
or does my cry fall on deaf ears,
do you hear my plea of despair and pain,
or am I just not important anymore,
do you see me falling apart,
one piece at a time,
slowly disintegrating into nothing,
no more tears are being shed,
no more pain need be poured out,
I shall keep it tucked away in my heart,
until it finally kills me,
and then the world will be a better place,
for everyone,
and you will have to live with the notion,
that you could have saved me,
and you didn't.





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