Half Price

August 13, 2009
By Anonymous

I promised you a poem
But forgot what it was to write
So how about something else
To fill you with delight?

As you see, I’m lacking in
Looks or brains or brawn
But at the bottom of my wallet – wait!
Do you accept love songs?

It’s the only payment I can give
It’s about a knight and his dame
And it’s kind of worked real thin
So the words all sound the same.

Or maybe that’s not quite enough?
Sorry, darling, let me see;
I’ve got two eyes (real nice) an ear, a nose
Sneezes and a silver key.

That key’s real sweet – use it well
It buckles up my heart
Speaking of which! A few good kicks
And I promise it will start.

And on that note, it’s much abused,
So treat it well, ok?
But in regards to prior ownership,
I’m not at liberty to say.

No? I will admit, it has seen a war.
So how about a head of hair
And (really scraping bone),
I do think I find faith in there.

I understand if you’re still slightly hungry
So I offer up my arms, though worn
They’re comfortable, tough, and strong,
Except where they’ve been torn.

Of not still satisfied, let me search
I’ve got a shoulder and some lips
Fangs and a twisty tongue
A curvy back and crackly hips

Perhaps you want passion?
Love and fire, wild?
Sorry dear, but mine’s been used
And now it’s rather mild.

As for self-control, I’ve got plenty
It’s something I never use
So go ahead and take a handful
What have you got to lose?

And in regard to my “wisdom,”
I’m afraid it’s running thin,
For a substitute I suggest
My very winning grin.

I’m afraid my courage, though,
It’s really rather frail
It’s gone into hiding with
My mane and lion tail.

There is one thing I can’t grant:
My slightly used old soul
For I’m afraid it’s missing-
In my chest, a hole.

One day maybe I’ll leave behind
All that weighs down my mind:
This body, quickly wearing down
Will one day take off the ground
Eventually, that hole will seal
And then my heart will start to heal.
But ‘til then, because I’m nice:
Special offer – just half price.

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