Oppressed, deprived, and unheard
My thoughts flurry around my head like a mad dog
Don’t know where they are going, don’t care
Just running around my head for the hell of it
Just to drive me insane
Questioning, accusing, skeptical
Of all the things that happened to me
From start to finish
Twisting my beliefs into an uncouth shape
Almost unrecognizable to me
Reviewing my every move
Pondering what would have happened if I had done this or hadn’t done that
Making me doubt myself on levels where I don’t even want to be alive any more
Thinking if I had pushed harder, done better, been smarter
The judge in my head pounding his gavel after every case my mind makes against me
Guilty.
A steady beat of guilt pulsing from that blood red gavel.
Making me less of a person with every pound
My thoughts torment me after every move
Knowing I’m vulnerable to every criticism
My thoughts are here to stay.