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Still

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Things fell through again today, constantly slipping farther through my fingers
and your words are nothing
but furious salt
against tired old wounds
itching and burning and aching
again as i struggle to control
the bitterness bubbling up
the anger washing over me once more, scorching my skin
like hot water
the months, weeks, days,
minutes, seconds
disintegrating as i realize
how much i have left to leave
behind.

I finally crash into sleep
in my dream we were real
we were pulsing, winking, skipping
we were alive and healthy and startled
by the vastness
and completeness
of what we had tumbled into.

I awoke empty and exhausted.

As i stir my coffee
(half cream three sugars)
i watch the silky ribbons of cream
swirl and twirl and disappear
into deep murky darkness
and i find myself wondering
where all our love went.





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