Eraser Smudged Heart

July 15, 2009
By cheyenneduhon PLATINUM, Lumberton, Texas
cheyenneduhon PLATINUM, Lumberton, Texas
31 articles 0 photos 144 comments

The pencil drawn heart,
Covered the page.
Inside she wrote,
His special name.

She showed him,
The heart.
And gave it to him,
With all her love.

He took it,
And told her the same.
But it wasnt long,
Until her heart was returned.

The eraser,
Smudged out his name,
But her heart will never be,
The same.


The author's comments:
This was written for a friend who was in love with a jerk. Most people can relate to her pain.

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This article has 9 comments.


on Aug. 1 2010 at 9:03 pm
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

OOOOH!!!! I LOVE THIS ONE!!! The title immediately caught my eye and it didn't disappoint. NICELY DONE!!! Liked this a lot. 

But, as you may have expected by now, I do have one critique. You have got to work on the random commas in between all of your lines and sentences. That's all though. This was fabulous. Stunning. BRAVA!!!

I would love it if you could check out some of my work too... if you ever get the chance. :)


on Nov. 8 2009 at 7:30 pm
cheyenneduhon PLATINUM, Lumberton, Texas
31 articles 0 photos 144 comments
Thanks!! I will & i will b honest dont worry!! Look for my comments!!!

on Nov. 8 2009 at 12:50 pm
jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 568 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul....wisdom is better than silver or gold."

"You can always close a book, but you can never close the mind of a writer."

doesn't this happen to everyone!? wow, it's such a great poem :) so much truth and love in this small poem. the title is very creative, and the last stanza is also my very favorite :) bravo! check out some of my work if you could, id love your opinion. oh and keep writing ;)

on Oct. 21 2009 at 7:19 pm
cheyenneduhon PLATINUM, Lumberton, Texas
31 articles 0 photos 144 comments
Thank you!!

on Oct. 21 2009 at 2:43 pm
LegacyPen BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
(my continued bio) Infinity, or Destiny of Infinity on here, is a total of 82,860 word count. I am in the editing process.

I will definately be writing a sequel; I just need to think a bit more about the plot and type it ;) I'll let you know when I post it on Teen Ink!

on Oct. 20 2009 at 7:25 pm
cheyenneduhon PLATINUM, Lumberton, Texas
31 articles 0 photos 144 comments
oh trust me it is no problem!! I loved your story!!! It caught my eye bcuz i want an emerald ring SOO bad!!! But i loved your story and hope you keep writing (especially a sequel to the Emerald Ring!)

on Oct. 20 2009 at 3:12 pm
LegacyPen BRONZE, Hudson, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
(my continued bio) Infinity, or Destiny of Infinity on here, is a total of 82,860 word count. I am in the editing process.

This poem is so true! It really portrays one side of love; the broken-heart one, that is. Good job! Oh yeah, thanks for commenting on my article a while back! :D

Returning the favor to you!

on Sep. 11 2009 at 9:20 pm
booksarelife4me SILVER, Lutherville, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Forgive and Forget and Never Regret."~A old friend

Wow I really like this! It's really cute and sweet. Nice work. I keep reading it over and over.

on Jul. 31 2009 at 9:24 pm
SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
10 articles 0 photos 298 comments
oh my gawsh. such a great poem!! i love love love the last stanza. aghh, i hafta read it over and over 'cuz the words... pure awesome. original. lovable :)


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