The Suicide Effect

January 11, 2009
By Gemstar BRONZE, Seattle, Washington
Gemstar BRONZE, Seattle, Washington
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

They broke up,
And she thought there was nothing more to it,
Then he put the gun to his head.
Closed his eyes and counted down from ten
Pulling the trigger at the numbers end.
He thought that's what he wanted,
But little did he know,
There was a boy who looked up to him like he was the world.
The boy acted strong,
Didn't cry till he was alone,
But who was to save him from that same fate?
All alone,
In a silent room,
With all the right weapons in your grasp.

That is the suicide effect.



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This article has 3 comments.


Lonleydandy said...
on Jul. 15 2009 at 2:33 pm
I really like this. It is really true. Great poem!

Joanna said...
on Jul. 13 2009 at 10:40 pm
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
Oh dear.

This is quite an intense poem. I'd like to see some things changed to create more flow, like the punctuation and some of the lines. The second last line, "With all the right weapons in your grasp", though describes it perfectly, doesn't exactly fit with the rest of the poem, in my opinion.

Still, nicely done. A dark poem, but nicely written.

on Jul. 13 2009 at 6:55 pm
ThereIsAlwaysHope GOLD, Belfast, Other
19 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Miles to go before I sleep'
- Robert Frost

wow, that's very well written.

i like it a lot, x


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