all i can think of is...

June 26, 2009
i tell jared i feel alone,
because it is just that.
this lonliness of knowing
at the end of the day,
after everything’s done,
i’m alone in my own
cave of a mind.
i’m alone and i am not happy.
i’m alone and i want to be with
jared, or nneka, or emily, or sarah.
i’m alone and i want to be occupied
so that i am not sitting in this room
telling myself to “get out.”
i am alone and i’m sending
“(:” smileys to jared because
i do not want him to know;
i do not want to know.
i am alone and patrick stump
is echoing off the walls of my
mind telling me "oh darling,
i know what you’re going through."
i am alone with gerard way screaming
"pressure" at me. i am alone and
there is nothing i can do.
and being alone makes me feel lonely.

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