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American Dream This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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so this is where all the dreaming takes me
to a cold, empty reality
with sleep still in my eyes
shivering, confused, I must’ve overslept
now it’s time to wake up
one last yawn, then face the lies
I’m barefoot and the streets are rough
paved with broken glass
but that’s okay
’cause the land is flowing
with milk and honey
bread and butter
and justice
if you just keep on going ...



This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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cole said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I like this poem aesthetically. But I agree with the tone of the first half much more than the second half. And I think it would benefit from some lines that might convince the reader that the land really does still have milk, honey, and justice. Personally, I don't see it, so the poem doesn't ring true.
 
Escape said...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 8:36 am
I definitely love the alertness in the poem, the main point is sort of fuzzy at first but then driven home to where the American Dream lies. I love it. Wonderful work.
 
bmmsjc said...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 10:11 am
it's a great poem
 
Lay16 said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 8:56 am
this is wonderful!
 
Thrush said...
Feb. 9, 2010 at 12:52 pm
This poem is full of the dream of everyone, the dream that sometimes we don't even know we're dreaming, for happiness and survival, very true, very powerful.
 
Holmes said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Do you think you can take a look at some of my work and give me some creative critisism?
 
Holmes said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:45 pm
i love this poem. very intense.
 
caughtinaxm0ment said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:37 pm
"one last yawn, then face the lies"
-i love that line(:
 
imaginewhirrledpeas said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:37 am
This wonderful, I love the sense of bitter hopefullness :)
and the subtle irony
 
Cfaith2 said...
Dec. 27, 2009 at 12:14 pm
i really love the way you wrote this, your imagery is lovely- bravo
 
sarahmarie said...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:37 pm
very uplifting. i like how it's written. a lot.
 
SweetHeart_707 said...
Dec. 5, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I love the scattered thoughts and you have wonderful imagery, as *SWEETS* also said. This was very well written, it's very true.
 
Coolbreezejr said...
Dec. 5, 2009 at 12:50 pm
This is a great poem. It has a very deep meaning to it........... again good job
 
*SWEETS* said...
Dec. 5, 2009 at 11:19 am
This is okay.. spend more time with it.
good imagery
 
Schubster said...
Nov. 13, 2009 at 9:30 pm
i love the rhythm and flow here. Very nice job. check out my work?
 
Poet_in_Motion This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 13, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Beautiful. I love it.
 
Poet's Corner said...
Nov. 13, 2009 at 4:30 pm
This captures the true essence of American life.
 
almost_there said...
Nov. 13, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Wow, I really like the concept explored here. Great job, very true and deep. Keep up the good work
 
dylonmichael said...
Nov. 13, 2009 at 8:42 am
LOVE THE POEM
 
munkyman95 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 30, 2009 at 1:51 pm
very moving and sobering
 
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