The Dagger

June 9, 2009
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Blood-red dark blues,
Tear streaked face.

The words they said,
but not out loud in front of him.

The actions they showed,
all the time even in front of him.

I never showed the hurt,
the pain I hid behind the smiles and laughter.

I didn't show that it got to me,
until the day they spoke those awful words aloud.

Like a dagger to the chest,
that cut deeper then it should have.

I snapped,
I cried awful tears of pain.

I cried,
those awful tears of hurt.

It sickened me,
the hurt.

The pain got to me,
I let it showed.

The words that I ignored for months,
the torture I went through.

I never let it showed,
until that day he wasn't there with me.

I went through the threshold,
and lost it.

I came unglued,
unglued right along the seams.

I callapsed,
I had let the pain show for the first time in months.

I let it all out,
I let out all the pain that I had let build up.

I let it out,
and now I feel the regret.

The regret of,
letting my parents see me like that.

The regret of,
the tears that fell from my eyes.

The regret that hurts,
worse than the words did.

Worse than the dagger,
the dagger to the chest.

Right through the existing hole,
through the pain that was already there.

I shouldn't have shed those tears,
the tears of hurt and pain.

I should've kept it inside,
just like the rest.

I should have.

But I didn't,
I let those words cut deeper than the actions.

I let them cut,
harder and sharper than a serated edged knife.

Straight through the existing pain,
straight through my heart.

The words,
they pierced my heart

Like the dagger,
that I kept on myself.

They pierced,
straight through my skin.

I let them hurt me,
let them tear my heart apart.





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