Ocean

June 1, 2009
By ElizabethW. DIAMOND, Oconto, Wisconsin
ElizabethW. DIAMOND, Oconto, Wisconsin
72 articles 2 photos 28 comments

Deep and misunderstood.
Turbulent, ever changing
Never still. Or predictable.

A mother and a sister.
A temptress and a murderer.
The tides both pull and push away.

Secrets are hidden deep
Where no man has ever gone.
In watery dungeons of mystery, hate and love.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Dec. 30 2009 at 9:44 am
despurlock DIAMOND, Morgantown, West Virginia
79 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The heart has its reasons which reason does not know." -Pascal, Pensees, 1670

Personally, I wouldn't change the poem. I'm really funny about that stuff b/c I hate to change a poem once its written down (aside from minor changes) but that's just me. I'd be afraid to change it because it is already so beautiful. I'f you wanted to add in some more metaphors though, you could start describing a women right off of the last stanza but connected and then break off into other stanzas. That way it shows that they are really connectede though they seem different at first. I hope this helps!!!

P.S. Thanks so much for your comment on "May 22, 2009 (a)" I really appreciate it!!!! Happy writing :)

<3 despurlock <3

on Dec. 29 2009 at 11:12 pm
ElizabethW. DIAMOND, Oconto, Wisconsin
72 articles 2 photos 28 comments
It started out as a poem to describe a woman actually, and I was going to do more metaphors than just the ocean. But then it sounded so good this way. Do you have any suggestions to make the metaphor more noticeable?

on Dec. 29 2009 at 8:56 pm
despurlock DIAMOND, Morgantown, West Virginia
79 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The heart has its reasons which reason does not know." -Pascal, Pensees, 1670

I really love this piece! It beautifully describes the ocean and how it can be many things to many people! I love your words choice ("a temptress" "a mother"). This is a beautiful piece! Great job!




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