The Hush | Teen Ink

The Hush

May 1, 2009
By Anonymous

Silence greets me at the lake.
I sit on the edge of the dock,
Feet dangling over, toes skimming the chilly water.
A fish jumps, a loon cries.

The silence returns for more.
I sit here in the dock, listening carefully.
I hear the water lapping against the sandy shore.
I wait for the perfect moment, I jump.

Stillness surrounds me, I float on my back.
Time seems like forever.
The sun sets and the sky fades
From blue, to pink, next orange, last purple.
Now it is black.

A fire crackles in the distance.
A small child giggles with happiness and delight.
The noiselessness is back, to greet me once again.
Woof! A dog barks. Meow! A cat meows with fright.

Peacefulness returns one last time.
Quietness is golden; noiselessness brings peace.
Quietness is golden, silent as a mime.

The author's comments:
This poem is about the sunset at our family cabin in Northern Minnesota and the silence and peace it has.

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This article has 4 comments.


on May. 10 2009 at 11:53 pm
SagaLiSela PLATINUM, Boonsboro, Maryland
27 articles 27 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love you."

Simple as that.

Or not that simple.

Very beautiful. I read this and sudden peace overcame me. Awesome!

EdytD SILVER said...
on May. 10 2009 at 2:19 am
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
It's neat! I like the imagery, but it's a little bit repetitive. If you wanted to keep the image of silence, you could express it in comparisons or other imagery.

Great job. :)



I'd love if you took a look at my poetry. Thanks!

on May. 9 2009 at 10:56 pm
kathryn_dec26 PLATINUM, Hampton, Virginia
44 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Your final stanza is lovely, and I love your use of vivid detail throughout to set the scene and the mood. One can really imagine being there and seeing all of this action. Wonderful : )

on May. 9 2009 at 8:57 pm
KICK3593 PLATINUM, Roslyn Heights, New York
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments
This is a very harsh and sensual poem. That last line in verse 4 about the dog and cat sounded kind of amateur. there are some other lines that feel the same. But a lot of it is pretty atmospheric and good.