Take My Life

April 21, 2009
By camille_1441 PLATINUM, Westerville, Ohio
camille_1441 PLATINUM, Westerville, Ohio
31 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Inspired by Jay Asher's 13 Reasons Why

My dear child,
I cradled you when the rest of the world
wasn't home,
and you felt so alone.
I watched you cry,
looking in the mirror,
wiping away your tears,
hiding from your fears.
I was here,
to hold your broken soul
in my hands,
limp and in the dark,
a lifeless ghost.
I have been holding on,
when you needed me the most.
You were wrong,
to swallow all those poisons,
life itself was death to you.
And I knew,
that you needed someone other than I,
to keep you from the want and need to fly,
with all the whitist snow
and painted wings
I gave it all to you,
I gave it everything.
And now our faces pressed agsinst the glass,
your breath is fogging up the window pane,
and I'm crying as I watch you slip away.
My dear child,
I'm gonna miss the way you smiled,
but soon enough forever we will part,
your soul flying above your lifeless heart,
and i will watch you leave the world you knew,
no one cared for us but me and you.

The author's comments:
This poem was inspired by a book I read about a girl who commited suicide. She talks about the reasons she took her life through a set of audio tapes that she sends through the mail to the people she feels have a part in her death. There is a poem in the book that she wrote where she uses a boy and her mom to describe the way she feels about herself so in my poem it sounds like a friend or parent is watching their daughter die but the whole time it's the girl watching herself die.

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This article has 9 comments.


Anj16 GOLD said...
on Sep. 25 2009 at 10:15 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
it's so sad when you watch yourself slowly slip away. When you lose yourself, your own convictions, and your own reasons. Good poem

EdytD SILVER said...
on Sep. 6 2009 at 3:46 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
Great job! This is a very emotional piece, and I think it's fascinating how you write almost, to yourself. (Or, rather, the narrator is speaking to him/herself.) Nice!

tor10jax GOLD said...
on Sep. 5 2009 at 8:46 pm
tor10jax GOLD, Livingston, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 144 comments
I love poem and you picked the perfect title. Good job! Would you mind looking at some of my writing? Thanks!

Keep writing!

on Jun. 22 2009 at 6:47 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

I think you did an excellent job on bringing the girl into your piece. I loved reading this one and it has a nice flow. Great job!

amyxu said...
on Jun. 15 2009 at 7:05 pm
Wow this is amazing. So far, it's my favorite one of yours. It's so meditative and thought-provoking, yet not in an in-your-face kind of way. I like all the imagery used to convey emotion. Good job!!!

on May. 30 2009 at 11:35 pm
AshleyAngel7 PLATINUM, Cincinnati, Ohio
23 articles 1 photo 7 comments
good!!!!!!

GoldenD BRONZE said...
on May. 14 2009 at 10:28 pm
GoldenD BRONZE, Livingston, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 18 comments
I really like it, it really tells about feelings. I like the way it leaves a feeling of understanding and sympathy. It also seems like you put some of yourself into it as well; how you feel abut life and how sometimes, you feel alone in the world. I once felt alone, so this poem is meaninful to me.

Danibaby3293 said...
on May. 12 2009 at 1:58 pm
OMG!!! this is the best poem i have ever read it was so sad but it makes me think of life excperiances your an amazing writer!!

on May. 10 2009 at 6:23 pm
camille_1441 PLATINUM, Westerville, Ohio
31 articles 0 photos 48 comments
comments and feedback are appreciated! thanks for reading.




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