My friends, my confidantes, my amigos… I love them to death. They are the ones I run to when I’m in trouble, or when my life is upside down. But I have different types of friends. I have the ones that are mere acquaintances, ones that I’ve known for a while and I’m close with, ones that are like family to me, and the ones that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world, the ones I would die for. My problem is that the ones that I am around the most, at school, are the ones that are either acquaintances or I’m the ones that I’ve known for a while. There are only maybe two or three at school that are the friends that I really want to be around all the time. You see, the way I look at it is, my friends are supposed to help me be the best that I can be. They are supposed to help me grow in my faith, stand by my side and help me through the ups and downs of life. The thing is, most of my friends at school don’t share my faith or care about it. Or they share it in name only, they don’t practice it daily, they don’t understand it. My faith is my life. The way I live, think and act is based upon my faith. Don’t get me wrong I’m not judging my friends, but it’s hard to be myself when they don’t understand who I am, and the goals I’ve set for myself are ones that they’d never even dream of setting for themselves. The friends that actually do understand me and who I am, the ones that do share my faith and understand and practice it are the one that I see only once, twice a week. Sure I can text them or video chat buts it’s not the same. The friends that I need in my life are the ones I see the least. I find myself becoming more distant from my friends at school, the ones that do and say things completely against what I believe in. When they ask what’s up, I don’t know how to respond without hurting their feelings. What they don’t realize is that if I do what they do and say what they say I am being a hypocrite. I don’t want to surround myself with the kind of friends that will lead me down the wrong path, but the ones who will lead me down the right one and who will support me through it. I find myself leaning on my friends that I don’t see as often more and more. They are the friends that truly care about me, and those are the friends I want in my life more than the others.
April 13, 2012