Life is truly a journey. I have been through soo much already at the age of 17...and the sad part is that at the age of 17, my journey is nowhere close to it's ending. To me, I have seen the ups, downs, and even the "in-betweens." Yet, my parents continue to say "you haven't seen anything yet...just wait until you get older." How much worse could life possibly get??? In the past years of my life I have felt the worse about mself. I let the thoughts, words, and opions of others concerning me determine the way I felt about myself. People and this society made me believe that I was fat, ugly, weird, undesirable, lonely, lame, and a bad friend. Now while I had my moments of believing that I was none of these things, Most of the time I believed that I was all of these. I wanted to stay strong and not show emotion because I felt like people would take insecurities as weaknesses. And that is exatcly what they were - weaknesses. My insecurities stopped me from being myself and doing many of the things I desired to do. What do I do when the love of God, my family, and friends just isn't good enough??? What do I do when all the encouraging words in the world can't uplift me?? Sounds like I need to be in the kneeling position. Prayer truly does work, but what people don't realize is that you also have to have faith. And another thing... everything doesn't happen soo quickly. And don't try to blame God for everything..questioning if he's really there and if he cares and hears your prayer. God is not the only one that has to be working. If you want something accomplished, you have to work towards it too.
October 23, 2009