In recent times there has been quite a boom in shows such as The Only Way Is Essex, amongst others, but with TOWIE being the main one. With these shows there comes a certain degree of idiocy. Now you most probably about these shows by now so there is no need for me to explain, so I’ll just jump straight in and start analysing its artistic merits.

The genre of docu-soap, has risen in popularity recently, for their interesting and thought provoking mixture of stupidity and arrogance. The compelling multi-layered characters make you feel compassion for them as they struggle through the Essex life. You join them as they tackle major, life altering issues such as trying to remember the name of the girl they hooked up with last night, or coming to the harrowing conclusion that the person you had a one night stand you had last night doesn’t know your name. The dialogue is consistently hard-hitting and provocative, providing us with some intellectual gems such as, “She’s fit, she’s fit, she’s fit. Everywhere you look there’s just a fit bird”, "Why is he so Jell for?" and my personal favourite "Can you see my knickers?".

But seriously though, The Only Way Is Essex annoys me beyond belief, my hatred of this show feels so deep rooted, I’m pretty sure my atom structure disagrees with this show. Firstly, there are many, many better ways than Essex. The Baghdad way, for example. There are a few reasons I feel this way, so allow me to expand.

The main thing in the TOWIE world which baffles and annoys me is that fact that it is more socially expectable to be a slag than it is to be otherwise. Most women were I come from rate respectability over a quick shag, but oh no! Not in Essex-land where the booze flows freely and the sluts are in abundance. But the girls aren’t just openly easy; they are all determined to cover up each individual act of slagishness as an act of love, like a kid who gives his sweets to anyone who asks just so they get to be friends.

But despite my angry ramblings, this is essentially, me getting hot-headed about something which doesn’t affect me in slightest, I just press on a button on my TV controller and this torture is over, that was until some of the standards of TOWIE started leaking into the normal, civilised world.

First it was the slang. People going around describing themselves and each other (mainly themselves) as “reem”. Reem basically means sexy, good-looking etc, and it has been used plenty of times each day. That annoys me, thoroughly. Just the sound of the word is annoying, but knowing its origin sends me round the bend, up the wall and half-way to Australia. Then came the hair dye, females dying their hair an overly bright colour, which can only be described as slag red. But to be fair, at least that serves a purpose, it acts as a beacon letting me know from the other side of the room that I don’t want to talk to you, as you’re probably really annoying. Also, at pubs and clubs, it performs the same function as a lighthouse for people looking for an easy shag, pulling them in whenever they see it.

With this now embedded in our society, I don’t know what will leak through next, but honestly, I’m scared for our very existence.