How to Become Popular.

December 8, 2010
It's not easy being the popular girl but you should all be grateful because I am about to tell you the best secrets to help you reach OMG popularity. First and foremost, looks are everything. There is no reason you should have to walk around with wild hair and in sweats with sneakers. Instead, you must always look pretty. I mean, who doesn't want to look their best all the time? Make up, hair styling, nails and skin care are crucial to beauty success. To follow that, you must only wear the most expensive, high-end brands from a boutique clothing store. You don't want to be classified as one of those cheep, penny-pinching shoppers who shop the clearance racks at the back of the store.. right? Next, you must always write with a pink pen. If not pink, purple will do, but if possible, pink is the best option. If your pink pen can be fruity-scented, then you are really pushing the popularity levels. You want to leave your fab mark on this world and your fruity pink pen can do just that. Third, you are only allowed to have one true BFF. That one BFF is the only, the only one to ever see you out of glam-mode. Fourth, you must have at least 3 pretend BFF's that only your real BFF and you know that they are pretend. The minimum of these 4 BFF's will be your posy, the girls you do everything with. You don't want to be a loser-loner do you? Lastly, if you have to get catty, get catty. You're the popular girl, no one is above you and if someone thinks they can diss on you, you must protect your domain. YOU are the queen of every castle, every jungle. You cannot however, be mean to your pretend BFF's for this might reveal the true nature of your friendship and we wouldn't want a TTYL text war amongst the popular posy. Instead, you must all get together, do facials, cut out cute boys from magazines and cry over a girly movie.

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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

kaybear said...
Dec. 18, 2010 at 9:50 pm
OK for one thing... your popular is different than other kids think it is! and second, if you think getting popular is all that your soooo dang wrong! this is america hun not a movie on MTV or Degrassi!
Camille replied...
Dec. 19, 2010 at 9:02 am
Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. Once again, as the person before you, if you read the comment blip that goes along with the essay, this writing is totally and COMPLETELY a satirical, humorous piece. If this isn't appearant throughout the essay, then you obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Please read all the information before commenting on my writing work. Thanks.
DawnMarie said...
Dec. 13, 2010 at 10:18 am
Oh, sorry, just a misunderstanding. By the way you were writing, it sounded like you were saying the only way to become popular is to...write with pink pens and such. Apology accepted, and season's greetings to you as well! 
DawnMarie said...
Dec. 12, 2010 at 11:01 pm

This isn't exactly how the "popular" world works anymore, sweetie. I don't know what world you live in, but at my school, we have popular girls that are sweet, funny, wear sweats, tie their hair up in a bun, and don't really care what other people think of them. They don't write with "fruit pink pens" or have "TTYL text wars" whatever the heck those are? 

You can be popular, and still be yourself. You just have to be yourself, and know who you are. 

Camille replied...
Dec. 13, 2010 at 7:49 am
I couldn't agree with you more.I myself am President of numerous organizations at my school and rock skinny jeans, band T's and my hightop converse. If you read my personal comment blimp, this essay was a satirical, humor essay to simply over exagerate a subject that is quite popular, no pun intended, in the highschool realm. I hope it wasn't of any offense to you, if it was I apologize. Merry Christmas!
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