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D for Dawg

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“Yoyoyo, dawg! Check it!”

“Check what?”

“Man, it was so epically gg. I epic pwn’d this noob. He was camping at this edge, thinking he can get so many kills but then I was right behind him and BAM, headshot. Epic fail for him, epic win for me. Dude, my character is like level 89, a Master Commander with the Holy-silver AK-48. Skip a couple days of school and play some more and I can probably get to level 101. Oooh, my character will be so epic! CCS is like the godliest game ever, man!”

“What’s CC--”

“Counter Counter Strike. It’s for extreme players! Unfortunately, that nooblet wasn’t extreme enough, as I pwn’d him hardcore. Haha roflcopter, that 40 year old cocky noob is probably crying to his mommy right now.”

“Ugh, I shouldn’t have even asked. I’m guessing you got a D in English.”

“Nah, I got an E! E for epic yo, because I am the epitome of epicness. Yeah, bro!”

“Wow, dude, can’t you even speak properly? I think you’re the actual dog here. Ugh, this generation, what has the internet done to us? I’m the same age as you and we can’t even hold a proper conversation because you speak freakin’ gibberish. I mean, the word “epic” is totally blown out of proportion. People in these times, exaggerate things by using the word epic. You really know what epic means? Taken from the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, the word epic is defined as “of, relating to, or having the characteristics of an epic <an epic poem>.” Either that or “extending beyond the usual or ordinary especially in size or scope.” So no, a “Miley Cyrus eating a popsicle” youtube video is not epic. Neither is killing an anonymous virtual character with your Holy-silver AK-48.
Uhhh…Dude, did you even heard a word I said?”

“Zzzz…Hmm…Oh what? Yeah, I was listening. Man, if you read this liberation and freedom speech aloud to an English class, they would have been bored after the first sentence.”

“I take it you didn’t even listen to what I said.”

“Yeah, yeah, I was just kidding. I heard everything you said! Oh, how teens these days are using the context of certain words improperly. All meaning of epic is now lost because people overuse it..blah blah blah. Dude, I came here to tell you how epic I pwn’d this noob! Not to get in a deep argument with you. Can’t you congratulate your buddy?”

“You know what, go get a girlfriend.”





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