May 31, 2017

You can either listen to my opinion or not. Most will choose the latter. I’m not a critic, I can’t tell you how to do something or how to make something great. I can just share my opinion. See I have too much time on my hand and yes I could use it to explore the world and meet new people, but no thanks. I just really want to watch movies. When I’m in a movie I can’t keep quiet, I always have to whisper to someone a sarcastic comment because it just bubbles up inside. Why not just share my opinion with everyone. For clarification I am a sixteen year old girl who goes to a Catholic school in the middle of New Hampshire. I do not understand the deep meaning behind movies, I am oblivious to what amazing stories they can tell.

La La Land

The girls went to this one for Ryan Gosling.The guys went for Ryan Gosling too, I mean who can’t love that face.The question asked was, “Do we make movie about a struggling actress who falls in love, but wait, who also can sing? The answer to that was probably no but they needed more movies for the Oscars. I went to this because my love for Ryan Gosling. That’s about it to be honest. Everyone in the theater was a woman over forty-five and just like me they were there for Ryan. As it started with a big musical scene I thought it would be a fun movie that would make me want to go dancing. I fell asleep by the time Emma Stone’s character failed at her first audition.When Ryan Gosling came on the screen as a struggling pianist with the dream to make his own jazz club I was wide awake. As the two slowly fall in love with struggles on the way I felt myself drifting into a deeper sleep. In the end you think the two would find a happy resolution and get married. NO! They don’t! Why would Emma Stone’s character give up the god who is Ryan Gosling for an old business man with a receding hairline? It’s like choosing between a Tiffany ring and something from Kay Jewelers. One is simply better than the other. Ryan Gosling is a beautiful human being. Did I mention I love Ryan Gosling?

Pulp Fiction

Well, life did not treat Danny Zuko well after he left Rydell High. At least he learned signing was not a good career option.This movie opened up on a date gone bad with a couple making plans to rob a restaurant. That actually sounds better than the dates I usually go on. Then we spend a lot of time learning how to order McDonald’s in French from John Travolta. Then we have Samuel L. Jackson scream in our face for a little bit. Then Then we meet Marsellus Wallace and he trust John Travolta’s character to take care of his wife. He does this by exposing her to cocaine and almost kill her. A pretty tame night if you ask me.Then I was exposed to scenes that I do not know if I could talk about in this paper because I am writing this in a Catholic school. Hint it is like Fifty Shades multiplied by at least seven.I do not know what goes on in Quentin Tarantino’s mind and I don’t think I want to find out so I can protect what innocence I have left. I have never seen murder done so casually then the time John Travolta’’s car hit a little bump in the road and he fired his gun and shot someone’s head off. It was just another day in the life for them.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Yes this is the man who brought you the character of someone on death row and someone with autism. But here, Sean Penn is only here to party! My mother told me to watch this movie because it was her favorite movie from the eighties but after watching it I don’t like the idea of my mother watching this movie.We open up with the song “We Got the Beat” so I knew this was a cheesy 80’s movie. This movie realized that I am not doing anything in my high school years besides studying. These kids never study! How do they find the time to go to the mall and to parties and to fast food restaurants. As we follow the lives of a couple of teenagers we are brought into the strange rules of the 80’s. #1 It is perfectly okay to sneak out of your house a night. #2 You can give your car to anyone to drive. And my favorite #3 All you need in life is a cool buzz, some tasty waves and you’ll be fine.

This is definitely the original “High School Musical”. Just like I said in the last one these movies make me feel like I am wasting my high school years. I never have a romantic summer solely, it seems in the movie, at the beach. I never go to dinners and have an angel from above to tell me to quit beauty school. I had only one car race with a rival gang but it wasn’t as celebrated as the one in the movie. This is the movie will see on Netflix and say, “This is from my time, this was a real movie!” And then they will try to sing along with it and you would leave the room. As we watch their lives through their final year at highschool we learn that about the whole entire year us took up by one dance and one carnival day at school. The two main characters Danny and Sandy realize the true meaning of love and that is changing yourself and your appearance for someone to pay attention to you. A love story for the ages.


Yes let’s make a movie about one of the greatest tragedies in history. Make it about two people in love instead of how if they added more lifeboats everyone could have been saved. Well if Leonardo Dicaprio is in it we have to make him do cute stuff to get female viewers to come and see this movie. We all know how this movie is going to end yet we pray that it doesn’t end that way. We knew from the beginning when Leonardo Dicaprio’s character, Jack, wins the ticket to go aboard the Titanic it’s not going to end well for him. Then we have Rose, the rich posh girl engaged to a corrupt man. But at least he gave her that giant necklace that has to be worth millions today. If I was getting necklaces like that for no reason I would gladly say bye to Jack. If a necklace isn’t pleasing to you how about a lifeboat on a sinking ship. Nope going to give that up to Rose, well that’s your choice. Maybe if you got on that boat Jack could have taken the door you lied on in the ocean, that clearly could have fit two, and he could have survived. Honestly Rose got a little selfish. But hey cute love story.

This movie caused me to hate the winter. I mean I already hated the cold but when you add song and dance to it, it gets a little bit worse. We open up this movie just like every other Disney movie and that is a tragedy. This movie took the classic root and went for the death of their parents. A great heartwarming start. Another Disney theme is having a character be an outcast of society. The outcast of this movie legit casts herself out of society. All because she shoots ice out of her hands. If she was a queen at a beach during spring break she can always put ice in people’s glasses then she would be celebrated. We have Princess Anna and all she wants to do is marry her true love and save her sister. That is the most innocent thing is this movie. The rest of the characters are a little corrupt. You have Prince Hans and it seems like all he wants to do is marry Anna but SIKE he turns into a character from Game of Thrones and tries to cut Elsa’s head off. You have Elsa who turned her whole entire kingdom into ski resort and had zero remorse and only fixed it when her sister almost died. Then you have Kristoff and his stupid reindeer who are just glorified freeloaders. They just stay in lodges and expect not to get kicked out. Honestly this movie just makes me a little bit angry.

The Wizard of Oz
I don’t know what pills Dorothy was poppin but she was having a trip of a lifetime. I mean she got to see color for the first time so she must have been on that strong stuff. All jokes aside this is considered one of America’s great classics. It is just a heartwarming film. As we watch Dorothy encounter new friends and is forced to face I can’t help to wonder if those ruby slippers are designer. Why would the Wicked Witch want them so bad if she could go fly over to her nearest Famous Footwear. As we see Dorothy and her little band of misfits I can’t help but wonder if there was an easier way to get the Emerald City. I mean Glinda had a giant bubble and the Wicked Witch had a broom. They couldn’t give Dorothy a bike or anything? They made her walk all the way in heels to the Emerald City. Maybe she packed flats in her little basket and put those on while she was singing and dancing. I only relate to one character in this movie and it is the Scarecrow. I too wish I had a brain because half the time I sound like an idiot but that could be because of the way this generation talks (see first sentence in this review for reference).

Explanation: You probably did not find any of these reviews helpful what so ever. You probably wouldn’t look at these reviews to decide what movie you are going to watch tonight. So why did I write this glorious piece of garbage? Well I wrote this because it shows who I am as a person. At my funeral for those who did not know me well I want them to read this and realize, “Oh this is why we chose not to get to know her.” It offers an explanation of who I am as stupid as it sounds. This shows the way I talk and think and I think making snarky comments gets my message across.

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